Helpers Hangover can kill your Design BUsiness.
I was working with a psychologist this week (as a client in this case but I've been on both sides).
And they shared this curious term called 'helpers hangover' that I'd never heard before.
Turns out helpers hangover, is a symptom of being in not so clinical terms a people pleaser.
It can feel like
An initial dopamine hit of "yes they chose me, I feel needed"
Fear of disapproval
Physical exhaustion - Oh man, another change?
Built up resentment - shit man, this budget was blown 10 hours ago.
The hermit phase - oh man I need a break after that client.
And my gut tells me that most designers who still see themselves as designers probably experience it daily.
I'm not a doctor ok, but I from working with clients who are designers and clients who are design business owners there is a clear difference - designers bend over backwards to take crap from clients.
Design business owners - don't.
And it's because business owners realise that being a people pleaser is not good for the client - it turns into bad projects, bad pay, bad outcomes and bad blood.
So there's three easy ways to stop people pleasing, and avoid helpers hangover that I discovered -
1 Stop treating the client like you owe them something. You do not owe them anything just for being a client, all you owe them is great service on your terms.
2 Stop acting like the fact they paid you money means you somehow should give them more than they asked for - under promise and over deliver but on your terms.
3 Stop giving them 24/7 open access to your life. Emails, Whatsapp, no. One channel, certain windows, clear comms guidelines.
Being a people pleaser will lead to burnout, I know, I've been there, I've had clients telling me "my nightmare client is texting me while I'm on the toilet at 10pm at night asking for tweaks that their husband recommended".
Being a people pleaser leads to feeling tired, undervalued, unhappy and frustrated - aka helpers hangover.
The moment you stop treating the client like you owe them, and start acting like a partner in their business is the moment the headaches go away.
Hayden
PS my Kult Method full course is only $1 until 5pm today - get it here
https://thekultmethod.com/welcome
